Friday Friday

Here comes Friday again. I have even more reason to hate Friday - since I have to be either working or studying on Saturday's.

I have no time to open up my file to even look through anything and the exam is in October.

My heart is on collision course every weekday, while my life is on a collision course to hell.

I am way to engrossed with him, but at the same time I don't dare make a connection or even acknowledge his existence. Every morning, I waste 15 over minutes picking out what to wear.

Every morning, I debate if I should blow dry my hair. Everyday I hope I get the opportunity to speak up. I doubt he even knows I bloody hell exist.

Literally taking my breath away.

Bleach Me

I hate the fact my brother used to or still likes Bleach (that freaking Japanese stuff).

And I find out, my "worst" fear, when I stumbled upon the fact he likes Bleach.

*eyes rolling* *rolling again*

So many things I want to say. So little time to do it. I am suppose to be working now. Pronto.

Perhaps I know him, better than he knows himself. I totally said he would wear this yellow favourite shirt, and i was ON THE MONEY.

j o e Y

No Utter Respect

Work barely kills me, it barely makes me bleed. It just makes me whine.

But people with an accusative tone - that I can't stand.

Yes, I am temporarily pissed.

But more importantly - I have seem to misplace my total and utter respect for you.

Hmm, let me ponder on it, and keep on searching.

Maybe that respect is in the corner of my handbag.

Opps....guess what. It's freaking GONE.

I am not a big fan of "forgive and forget".

Forgive - I might.

Forget - I never.


I really want to smear your name here, but I am rather ethical unfortunately to save your bloody name.

I wish you know I feel this way for you.


YOU FRIED UP YOUR OWN RESPECT. YOU FILTHY PIECE OF RETARD.

Check my name out, read about yourself.

j o e Y
The one mask I'll never reveal.

Telling Myself

I hate to tell myself this when I usually never believe in such things. But but but, this is almost like fate. There are so so many thing intertwined to be similar, and yet again he proves me right. Maybe it is just God whom proved me right.

Freaking the hell outta me - literally.

Dear God, five me the strength to accept the things I cannot change.

WAIT WAIT WAIT.

It should be "Dear God, give me some strength to stop avoiding his look or presence".

And what the hell am I doing..............first, it started out with the Malay dude, then I chatted casually with the Indian dude and today I grasp on his group seems to be growing - my latest accomplishment is to basically "chat" to his closest senior. Ok......and I trying to establish a freaking relationship with the whole group before I move in, on to him?

I hated it - everytime I stood up. Every time I stand, I see a blank screen. Every time, I glance at the glass for a reflection - I see someone else.

This freaking infatuation is making me a freak. If only emotions were so simple to control, I would cork all my feelings up like in a bottle and toss it.

Back to more sane issues - trying to decide on where my focus should be:-

i) BMW 3 series (E90 or E92)

ii) Volkswagen Golf GTi

Setting the target for cars a bit tooooooooo high at the current stage.

At the same time, the target for my career has bumped up slightly as well.

It's a good motivation. =)

jY

This Is OBESSED - A Whole New Level

1 pale yellow

1 pale beige

1 pale lavender

1 pale green

1 pale grey

You're so bright or pale.

2 white

1 yellow

1 pale yellow

1 fushia

1 grey

1 blue

5 black

I'm still dark and gloomy.

Be my yang, while I can be your yin.

I need to sleep. But I am here thinking thinking and thinking. Thinking of nothing at all.

Just listening to music. The genre is folk.

From rock and pop, I moved to pop and alternative. Then it became pop and electronica. Now it is moving towards folk.

I have alternative, alternative rock, blues, brit pop, celtic, classical, country, dance, electronic, electronica, indie rock, instrumental, rock, rock-pop, techno, trance and world.

What the hell is "world"?

One heck of a weird playlist.

Wish That I Never Should Have Wished

The Facebook wish was a freaking dumb ass wish.

Now I wish I never wished for that.

Note to self AGAIN: Stop visiting Facebook for one freaking person...I meant "reason".

Fear Tomorrow

This is getting painfully annoying. It's like one shocker after the next. So right now, I am going "what should I expect tomorrow". Why do you never never never seem to fail me, one week after the next?

I am going to pray that I remain sane tomorrow. I somewhat doubt my "gentle" and "vocal" reaction. It's going to be another OMG OMG OMG day.

You seem to the a jigsaw I can't put together. Hot and cold, all mixed into one.

And I am infatuated beyond words.

Earlier and earlier

I can't be that obsessed with everything........well, I am sure obsessed with work.

It used to be 8.00 am where I would walk in.
Then it became 7.45 am.
It moved sligtly to 7.30 am.
Earlier this week the time moved to 7.15 am.
Today it was clocked in at 7.03 am.

Please Stop Caring

Talking to my own pathetic self AGAIN. I am telling myself that I need to stop talking, but yet I continue doing it. I need to stop caring so much for people I don't even know - namely Yellow. I can't think properly whenever you freaking "cough cough". I can't. I have this urge to just beg you to rest or maybe get some medication. I stuff my ears with the earphone, but yet I can still hear you talking away.

It nearly broke heart. It disturbed my mind - that's for sure. I can't bear it to hear you cough.
I also can't bear to hear you talk and laugh. It is so darn annoying. But I find it so annoyingly attractive.

Come on. Update your Facebook. I barely know anything lately. Need to hypnotize you: You love Facebook to a good extent.

I barely know you. I barely know you. This is the medication talking.

"asdrythfddertyuiknbvsAXCGTUIKSDYThoiuytfcx"

That was the fall on the keyboard. So tired. So exhausted.

Who Thought?

Who would have thought I would be affect by this simple comment?

"I see you have eye bags, previously you did not have them"

FREEZE TIME !!! What you mean? Over the weekend which I barely did anything, you are saying I have eye bags. Shit.

I am not concerned at all. Not concerned.

Play That One More Time

I swear, if you ever try that trick ever again,

It will be ever again before I can forgive you.

Don't test my temper, which is notorious,

I might shove it off today, but not another.

Try me. You will forever be remembered as the one who screwed up.

18th Day

For the 18th day,

How could I have missed you the past 21 days?

Staying later and later barely becomes an issue,

With the excuse of work and roads being block,

The excuses are really excuses,

It is just to continue gazing at you.

On the 17th day,

I apologize for sprinting out the door

But I noticed you on the right corner of my eye,

Your pale shirt,

I sprinted back after dinner,

But you were no longer there.

Most of my actions have you in mind,

Who I speak to, what I say.

It's unlikely we will ever be friends. Ever.

joeY

On My Radar

Britney's latest song (or so I thought it was the latest), she sings.....

Confidence is a must
Cockiness is a plus
Edginess is a rush
Edges (I like 'em rough)
A man with a Midas touch
Intoxicate me, I'm a lush
Stop you're making me blush
People are looking at us

When you walk (when you walk) and when you talk (when you talk)
I get the tingle, I wanna mingle, that's what I want (that's what I want)
Hey, listen, baby, turn up the fader.. try to make you understand you're on my radar

Interesting sense of style
Ten million dollar smile
Think I can't handle that
Animal in the sack
His eyes see right to my soul
I surrender self-control
Catch me looking again
Falling right into my plan..

I got my eye on you... and I cant let you get away...

Hey baby whether it's now or later (I've got you)

You can't shake me (no)
Cause I got you on my radar
Whether you like it or not, it ain't gonna stop
Cause I got you on my radar (I've got you)
Cause I got you on my radar

Sounds a little familiar, the way I check him out. I need a new plan. A plan which can be executed ASAP.

joeY

Indecisive

I can't seem to stand people with no real back bone of their own. If you want something, please fight for it. Don't let it slip, slip and continue slipping. I am so fed up of people who continue saying yes, yes, yes.

You Never Fail To Surprise

You were missing on Monday, and Monday became a depressing "blue" day.

I heard you cough on Tuesday, and the first thought was that you are still ill,

It was comforting to know you were around.

You speak with an odd accent

Neither sounding Chinese, Indian, Malay, British, nor a Malaysian.

You laugh with such obnoxious snips

All those things reassure me you are around – which provides me a smile for the day.

30 minutes have passed,

I don’t see the beautiful lock of hair, which I have come to admire.

It’s because that lock has been sliced and trimmed to the lowest point possible,

I had to stop to believe what I was looking at.

I had to make sure it was you.

But that unmistakeable yellow shirt which you have on, just clarified the view,

My dreams of running my fingers through your hair just snapped.

Why, how, when, what – those ran through my mind

The wallpaper has changed. You never fail to surprise me.

And I convinced myself that I was bored of you.

You, you – proved me wrong.

Flawed Plan

My shirt was stained with coffee, just BEFORE I left the house. Therefore, that prompted me to head for a change in clothes. Therefore, pushing my target behind by 5 minutes.

The number of cars MASSIVELY increased by the time I got out. I did one of the most horrible thing to other people. I queued up on a "non-existence" second lane (where there was ONLY one (1) lane). It also started to get back logged on the roads.

The "dude" in front of me was so so so SLOW. When I parked, the first thought was "Since I am so late now, I will never get to see the BMW guy (he was not in the car anymore)". Therefore, I might as well hurry out of the car and get to the office, since I was so "late" already.

There it went - the sound of the car. It was the BMW guy, who came back. Surprisingly, he was tall (yes) and freaking good looking (Okay, so what if that was the BMW status talking).

And who was I to think my plan had a flaw.

jY

Gifted Gift

Need I say more with silver thrown in the equation?

I love silver. I love the shape. It's so understated.

Not heartbroken

Hello.....do I sound like a person who has been heartbroken?

Clearly NOT !

More like someone who has been slowly piecing back the pieces.

Give me a break.

Please don't pretend to ask me out by asking if I was dating at that current moment.

I have told you, I am not dating anyone.

Need a shower NOW....before I burst into a ball of flames.