Kuala Lumpur / Sydney / Singapore Debate

What I needed was to go back to Sydney to realise and what I was missing. The problem is that I have always loved Singapore and perpetually envisioned going there to 'slog'. Sydney was never my cup of tea, but going back there (Sydney) made me inspire to consider Sydney once again. I hate the tax rates, where the highest marginal tax rate is 45%. Too freaking high. The shops close too early and there is nothing going on after 6p.m. I know that I rarely go out after work or in the evening, but it is nice to know that there are shops open late at night. 

The good thing about Singapore is they move freaking fast. The culture is almost the same, but at the same time, I doubt that they are so sloppy like the 50% of Malaysians. Argh, I still have time to decide on that. In the mean time - my short term goal is to focus on the job and my CPA program which I plan to start ASAP. In the next 3 - 4 years, then perhaps would be a better time to decide. 

Could You Ever ?

Commitment phobia might not be the reason for fear,

I know I will warm up to the idea of having someone,

Slowly, possible, and never impossible.

It may be a fear of losing it all over again,

It could be due to the feeling of getting bored,

Bored of the relationship, you and probably myself.

Could I have ever wanted to save any of the previous relationships?

It would mean nothing more to preserve one in particular,

Which was filled with the attention and care I needed.

Attention deficit disorder would summarize the who issue,

Boredom, which can hit at any moment with me,

The emotional rollercoaster will not be of a help either.

Would you think it is possible for me to have a stable emotional relationship?

Fickle minded I definitely am,

Chaotic would probably be on that list of characteristics I am.

How can you possibly put up with me, when I can't stand myself?

Please don't ask me to change as no one can,

Although love may actually change me.

I need to know, can you promise to be patient,

How long can you hold up for with my depression issue?

Would you promise to give me the space and air I crave?

Can you continue to hold my fragile heart, which is nothing like diamond but sand?

 

Love Is....

Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, Never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. If you love someone you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in them, always expect the best of them, and always stand your ground in defending them.

 

Love costs. Love is unselfishness. It is honesty, integrity, humour, compassion, empathy, understanding, patience, self-care, a listening heart and ear.  Love is letting go, rather than clinging to. Love is embracing, rather than abandoning. Love is letting go of hurts and pain, offering forgiveness and peace in their place. Love never needs nor waits to be acknowledged, but continues to encircle all. Love is setting free, rather than judging. Love is straining every personal resource to allow others rise from the quicksand of their circumstances. Love will not permit us to act from fear of others or the unknown. Though there may be things of which we are afraid, love will provide a buffer zone to enable us to function while acknowledging our limitation. Love never plots or plans harm to others, rather it surrounds the others with thoughts of loving.

 

Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived.

The Truth

The Truth.

We like to think there’s only one version of it. Namely, our own. But then someone else comes along and they insist on giving you their (generally wrongheaded) version of the truth. The truth is… there’s all sorts of truths. The varnished truth. The unvarnished truth. The naked truth. Half-truths. Whole truths. And what we addressed in this episode. The painful truth. The kind we don’t always want to hear.

Mystery Author

Found this post on my Yahoo! 360 blog, but I can barely remember who the writer was. If you think or notice such familar voice, do let me know. I had always been a bitch back then. Perhaps I might fight past that stage soon. 

Not mine, someone sent it to me. I felt shocked, because so happen I was awake during that time (3am). I honestly feel touched, but I have no more other feeling apart from touched.

 If you only knew, How much I missed you, Not hearing your sweet gentle voice, Not knowing how are you, Not knowing what you ate or did when you were missing, Not knowing what happened to you, Damn it, I am in love with you, Wish you were here, How I wish I could hug you, Hear your voice whispering in my ear, Holding your soft gentle hands and cheeks, I will be waiting for you, No matter the price, I will always wait for you.

 

A Million Miles

You caught me off guard the moment I met you,

I was prepared for nothing more than just a friendship,

But you made it impossible for me to sustain my true feelings,

I never thought that you would be someone I cared so much for.

For I loved you all this while, all the past 3 years,

I was so unprepared for the feelings that had hit me when I was 18,

Now being 21, I am still unprepared for what I would not want to hear from you,

That you ever get married.

There is three things I am certain about,

Firstly, I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you,

Secondly, I have never stopped loving you all these time,

Thirdly, you are nearly impossible to get back in my life.

You are definitely more than a college crush,

I just hope you would realise I have always been here,

Trying to hold your hands always,

I am always in love, in love with you.

In Love with a Memory

The memory of you is all I have with me to hold on to, and you seems so far away.

Maybe this is goodbye, time to say goodbye for good, after all the joy and pain.

I shall keep the memory of you with me, embeded in my own memory.

 

Incapable of Love

Have you ever had that feeling where you thought you were incapable of love? After so long, when you have made peace with that fact, something or someone appears alive to remind you that you had loved once before?

I thought I was ready to live a life so love-less, to remain in existence, but in exile at the same time. My heart and emotions constantly try to look out for love and you, maybe you will remain in the horizon; while mind and mental state tells me that you were buried a long time ago.

In a flash, I saw something that relates directly to you, and I fumble. I remain in shock. My heart rate increased, but my mind seemed to reject all evidence of your existence.

Confession: I murdered you, a year ago.

Verdict: Guilty as charged. Having to live with that guilt since that gruesome day.

Evidence: You yet remain well alive in reality. Maybe too well for me to accept.

j o e Y

"Could you imagine how terrible things would be if we always told others how we felt? Life would be intolerably bearable."

Love Can't Be Defined When I Am With You

When I fall in love, I love with all my heart. 

 

When I hate, I hate as much as I hate hell. 

 

I want you, to understand that, I care for you, I devote my life to, I scream in pain, I cry for you, I stand for you, I stand by you, I hold you, I whisper in your ears, I look you in the eye, I kiss you at night, I sacrifice for you, I tend for you, I worry for you, I break in to pieces, I build myself up by loving you, I die for you, I breathe life based on you, I give you my life, all because I love you unconditionally, till no one can accuse me of loving you less. I hope you understand how much I love you.